Thursday, December 11, 2008

Be Careful of Envy

Yesterday we are off to the countryside on one of our jaunts. This one was special because we were having our Christmas lunch at a really swanky hotel. A friend was waiting at the stop for the coach and started to tell me about what she was doing on Friday. She was only flying to the Bahamas, where she was catching a cruise ship, and would spend three weeks cruising the Carribbean. Was I green with envy? Do dogs have tails?

It has been 4 below here, we have had ice on the pavements, unusual for I live by the sea, frost on sand is not a pretty sight, I don't care what anyone says. I am a sun person, why I am in this freezing hole, I mutinously thought, all the while smiling at my friend, but I was honest to admit to her that I was jealous.

On the walk through frost laden fields, over stiles and by the river, even the bright sunlight making the countryside sparkle did not lift my mood. I was so resentful that I have to be here. Laughing and joking with my friends, but it would not go away,it lay there at the pit of me in an unpleasant lump.

We struck out on the pavement and someone at the back slipped and fell really hard. We all rushed to see if we could help. It was my friend who was off to the Bahamas, she went down really hard, and with that all my envy dissipated into pity and worry that she would have to cancel. I really mean that, I felt so mean that I had envied my friend and now she had had an accident.

We walk home together, so I was able to ascertain that she was all right. Very shook up, as you are when that happens, and her wrist hurt but it was not broken. She looked as sparkly eyed as always - this lady is 71 and looks 50 without any help of a surgeon's knife! She assured me she was okay and I went into my home.

It was lovely and warm, Eddie was curled up on John's knee, I had been with friends and felt very fit from the walk. I was lucky. My cruising friend would go home, have to put on her heating and as a widow, look out for herself. I did not realise just how lucky I am.

Still...three weeks in the sun would be....


Kathleen said...

Thought-provoking blog and so beautifully written, Margaret. Your friend is probably thinking if only I could write like Margaret.

margaret blake said...

Thanks, Kathy.

Debbie Wallace said...

LOL, great post! I'm glad your friend was okay because you would have beaten yourself up with guilt for being jealous.

I've been there before, too. When I learned family members had won a lottery. Why couldn't it have been me? Then you know what happened? They both lost their long-time jobs due to budget cuts and I was thankful they won the lottery! They need it more than I do now.